The high school years of a sex addict.

My high school years were spent in Vicenza Italy. In a way high school was a great time in my life and in other ways it was horrible. I struggled with grades through out high school. I kidded people and said that I was on the five year plan. My parents separated when I was 16 and my mother moved away. To make matters worse, the physical and emotional abuse from my father returned. When I had difficulty with school, particularly if it was my own fault, he would tell me that I was going to be a bum or a hobo when I grew up. Sometimes I believed him, but some part of me inside never gave up.

Girls were a hit or miss situation with me. While I didn’t date until I was a junior, I did have the occasional erotic encounter. I was a decent looking boy and with wrestling I managed to make myself fairly attractive to girls. Italian girls liked me I think because I was blond and different from Italian boys. Italians are also a bit more sexually liberated. This surely added to my growing love of Italy.

As much shame and guilt as brings me, I must admit I took advantage of a lot of girls who developed a crush on me. Many times I had sex with these girls only to dump them if they wanted more of a relationship[1]. My heart was dead for a while and I just couldn’t allow myself to get involved emotionally with somebody. I was emotionally attached to sex but not my partners. I kept this habit through out the throws of my addiction.

I belonged to a circle of friends that comprised of a diverse group of kids. We were athletes, artists, musicians, pot heads and general misfits. We all had one thing in common, our home life sucked in one way or another. Many of us used each other for comfort or sex (between guys and girls in the circle) and we all self medicated with alcohol and drugs.

On a positive note, in my junior year I did get my act together somewhat. I focused on my academics and sports. I pulled my grades up to the A-B range and I had moments of glory in Athletics. My art, thanks to heavy mentoring from my art teacher, also developed nicely. I even managed to have a couple of healthy romantic relationships.

I left home and joined the Army right after graduation.

[1] My average relationship was less than two weeks. I don’t consider this dating.