Young love at it's best

We left Germany for a much different life in Natick Massachusetts. While I was in Germany, I longed to be a “normal American kid.” I’m not sure of all the underlying reasons why I felt the need for some normalcy in my life. I had a romanticized idea of what an American boy should be like. I thought at least I should have a bike, a tree house and a girlfriend1. I actually got just that when I was in Natick but that didn’t help me as much as I thought it would.

When we arrived in Natick, I was in the middle of my sixth grade year. In Germany I was attending an elementary school where sixth grade was the highest grade in the school, “big man on campus,” as my dad put it. In Natick sixth grade was in middle school all of a sudden, I was in a school situation that I was not prepared for. While I liked the different classes and electives that middle school offered, I was behind the power curve socially. I didn’t really fit in the cliques that existed. If I had been there during football season, I feel I would have made a name for myself but I felt like a fish out of water in a semi hostile area. Some of the cliques of kids were downright mean to me, calling me a Nazi because I had lived in Germany and once at recess I was beat up by a group of about six kids.

On the bright side, I loved my new neighborhood. I quickly made friends with several of the boys my age in the government housing area. The housing area looked like a regular neighborhood with single-family houses, all painted government brown or tan of course. The cool part was that somebody who lived there before had built a large tree house in the backyard that bordered the woods. I was living part of my dream already.

Another part of my fantasy of being a normal boy came true as well2. I became friends with an older boy who lived across the street from me. Jerry was a giant but he had downs syndrome. He was a tremendously loyal and sweet kid to have as a friend. While it’s great to have a good friend, Jerry’s sister Becky was an absolute beauty.

Becky was about a year younger than me, she had long dark curly hair and unbelievably pretty face. She was also a great person to talk with. Despite her beauty she was like me, she had problems growing up and other struggles, and best of all she liked me. It was immediate, as soon as I realized that she liked me I asked her to be my girlfriend and she agreed. I wanted my relationship with Becky to be different then my secret friends in the past. Fist of all it wasn’t secret. The boys at school couldn’t understand how the freak from Germany was dating the girl who had turned them down and didn’t seam to like boys. I didn’t really understand either but I didn’t care. We held and talked everyday, we shared our dreams and kissed gently. We were best friends and we were in love. Our relationship was everything I thought a romance was supposed to be. I still think back on it with amazement.

We never became inappropriate sexually. It’s not that I didn’t want Becky that way, I did. I believe she was somewhat molested by her father, and I was very gentle with here physically. I really wanted to keep our relationship appropriate for our age and I was committed to do so3. I had a great deal of respect for Becky and treated her as well I could. She was extremely loving toward me in return. It’s not to say we didn’t have a physical relationship because we did. It included, kissing deeply, touching, caressing, some petting, and cuddling but not sex. We even talked about it sometimes. Were available physically but we both felt that if we were ready we would be sexual. It just never happened. This surprisingly was OK with me. We even went skinny dipping at a near by river often. I loved seeing Becky naked and I loved embracing and kissing while we were nude but we never took it further. I feel that our relationship gave me the strength to keep my boundaries with her.

Sadly, as it goes in a military family, Becky’s family moved after a year of our relationship. We wrote for a few years and tried to remain true to each other from a distance but it was not meant to be. We never saw each other again.

To say I was devastated over the loss of my first love would be an understatement. Here I am 25 years later and I’m not sure that I don’t think about Becky at least once a day. I became depressed and broken. I didn’t date again until I was a junior in high school.

1 Clearly I watched too many movies.
2 The having a girlfriend part (I did get a bike too). Keep reading.
3 We met when I just turned twelve. She turned eleven a few months after we stated dating. When she moved away I was thirteen and she was twelve.